The Hunt for Red October is Over. We Found It. It was in Portland.

Here's our guide to having fun in Portland for a day even if it pours rain the whole time:

1. Approach from the north.

2. Go to OMSI and tour a submarine.

Brenda is standing in front of the USS Blueback which is docked at the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry. The Blueback is the US Navy's last non-nuclear fast-attack submarine. It was one of the subs they used in filming the Red October, and getting to tour inside of it was pretty freakin' awesome.

Going up?

The Navy will take anyone these days.

The torpedo room.

Built for violence, not for comfort. (The boat, not me.)

You'd be a lucky submariner to find this in your bunk.

I particularly enjoyed the fake wood veneer on everything. The last thing I would want to be thinking while I was underwater and in a tight spot would be, "but this boat is made of WOOD! We're screwed!"

3. Check into a posh hotel.

We stayed at the Benson right in the downtown. Jessie didn't just get a great rate at this hotel for us, she paid for the whole thing! What a sister! Thanks again Jess! The Benson was fantastic. We chilled in the lobby lounge in the evening for a few drinks and the concierge staff was very helpful in helping us find our way around town.

4. Go shopping downtown.

6. Go to Fuller's for breakfast. (Have the French Toast.)

7. View local art installation.

Not shown is step 5, sleep. Our whirlwind tour of Portland was brief, but we had to leave so Brenda could quench her shopping thirst at the famed outlet malls of Washington State. Then it was back home to Canada.

Goodbye imperialists!